Vegetarianism

We left Puhoi in a van that worked for a change and continued alone the East coast, heading North. Our first campsite was found in Mahurangi Regional Park and man, was it surreal. We drove through miles and miles of the most lucious countryside dotted with ramshackle, old farm buildings, passed those countless, rolling green hills I mentioned earlier and navigated Peggie down steep, winding gravel tracks until we eventually arrived at…the beach. The most secluded, calm and peaceful beach I’d seen, right about the time the sun was starting to set. It was at that moment I realised this country is just awesome and with alarm, realised I would probably start to worry about having to leave already.

Said beach

We parked on a lonely patch of grass by the sand and were promptly surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of ducks and their never ending supply of babies. They literally would not leave us alone. When we woke up the next morning, they were still there, surrounding Peggie in silent vigil. I swear these ducks were like dogs and as soon as they sensed we were awake they practically wagged their tails and as soon as we left the safety of our van, sniffed at our crotches. The babies ran circles around our feet and climbed up on our shoes as though they could not get close enough or were trying to hitch a ride. It was then Chad said words that would change our lives forever (or so we thought – and it’s the thought that counts, right?) “I’ll never eat duck again”. 

Said ducks

This simple statement led promptly to serious moral discussions regarding vegetarianism. I couldn’t be sure why I deemed the life of a cow or a lamb of less importance than a bear or a dolphin. I would never eat a bear or a dolphin!

Chad’s decision not to eat meat was less of a moral one and more a question of good health. He’d been reading advice from serious ultra runners who’d all given up meat.

We each agreed that humans had evolved enough to feed ourselves meat alternatives, agreed to give it a go, fed the ducks one last time and went away enlightened. 

Unfortunately, we still had some sausages left over, festering in the van. Ah, I hear you say, quandary. Well yes it was, but we decided not to let the poor pig’s life go to waste and cooked up one final farewell meaty butty before stocking up with tin upon tin of vegetable soup and beans (we are very imaginative people). 

The last supper

That day we congratulated ourselves on our new moral high ground. Everything seemed to be telling us we had made a great decision. As we drove along country roads sheep and their lambs turned their heads to watch us pass. We won’t be eating you guys! A trailer filled with cows clearly destined for the abattoir blocked our way along the road. Nothing to do with us! No more animal related guilt over here!

This lasted for about three days. Never underestimate the power of meat cravings – vegetarians I salute you!

First, I started to imagine life back at home in the UK as a veggie. What would I choose off the menu at the Thornton Lodge? I love their gammon! What do you do as a vegetarian at the carvery? Just eat veg? That’s balmy! What would I choose for a chippy tea? Could I resist my beloved puddings? Ultimately, ashamedly, the answer was no.

But we plodded on, not so merrily eating beans and bland soup, probably because neither of us wanted to admit to the other we were giving in. 

A few days passed before we discovered the sneaky stray pack of beef supernoodles hidden in the depths of our food box at a time we were both hungry. I suppose we could have cooked them without the no doubt nutritious flavoured powder just to be safe, but the prospect and the deliberation made us weak and/or honest and the fact we like meat, and as humans are meant to eat meat, and all of the other reasoning we’d resisted and argued against only a few days earlier came crashing down around us and spewing out of our mouths. We couldn’t get our words out fast enough.

In the end, we ate the noodles and that was the end of that – BACON BARMS ALL ROUND! YEY! 

I know, I know. Vegetarians – I deserve your abuse.